We’ve all been there, you have a “brilliant” idea for a new project or app, and you want to validate it before sinking months of your life into development. Validation is the ultimate safety net, without it, you risk the painful surprise of building something that literally nobody wants. This is the worst outcome. However, most people start with the worst possible question: “What do you think about my idea?”
This common pitfall is the core focus of Rob Fitzpatrick’s The Mom Test. The hard truth is that when you ask for an opinion, people will tell you what they think you want to hear rather than the cold, honest truth. It’s difficult for friends and family to say, “I don’t see the value in this.” Instead, they offer polite fluff like “It sounds interesting” or “I like the concept.” This is false validation, and it’s way more dangerous than a flat “no” because it gives you the confidence to keep wasting time. If building without validation is like sailing without a compass, asking for opinions is like sailing with a compass that always points to “yes.” You think you’re on the right path, but you’re actually just going in circles, wasting time and energy.
The Myth of “Build It and They Will Come”
The “Build it and they will come” strategy only works in movies or for creators who already have a massive, loyal following that would somehow manage to sell even the most “what the hell” products. For the rest of us, realism is key. You might believe your app is extremely useful—and you might be right, but if the problem isn’t a massive pain point, people won’t go looking for a solution. They will happily stick to a post-it note on their fridge or a messy Google Doc if those “good enough” tools get the job done. Before you write a single line of code, you need to prove the pain exists.
Finding Your Real Target Audience
You need to identify the specific people who will actually pay for or use your product. This should be the “easy” part of the process, if you can’t find or connect with your audience now, you’ll never be able to market to them later.
Your target audience is never “everyone.” As anyone who has spent $500 on Facebook ads for three clicks and zero conversions can tell you, if you’re talking to everyone, you’re talking to no one. If you can’t find your crowd, revisit the idea.
Understand the Problem
The next step is understanding how your audience currently tackles their challenges. If their current workflow is a major friction point and no existing solution is perfect, you’ve found a gap. But be careful, if they are already using a solution that is “good enough and cheap enough,” you’re facing an uphill battle. But even if this is the case, you can still copy and improve on the existing solution. The key is to understand the problem deeply enough to know where the current solutions fall short and how you can offer something better.
The secret to these conversations? Do not mention your idea. Your role is to be a student, not a salesperson. You want to learn about their problems, not sell them on your solution. Seek mentorship and advice on the problem itself. You aren’t trying to get them to like your vision, you’re trying to learn how they survive without it.
Focus on Past Behavior, Not Future Intent
Everyone says they will start healthy habits, everyone says they will start working on a side gig, everyone says they will start learning a new skill. But most people don’t. So, instead of asking “Will you use my app?”, you should ask
- “How did you solve this problem the last time it came up?”
- “When was the last time you actually spent money on a tool for this?”
This way, you are asking about their past behavior, which is a much better predictor of future behavior than their intentions.
Avoid Hypotheticals
Hypothetical questions are the worst, they are the enemy of data. They are easy to answer with a “Yes” because there’s no cost involved for the person you’re talking to. When someone says, “Yes, that sounds great!” they are often just trying to protect your feelings. If they haven’t spent time or money solving the problem before, they likely won’t start with your app.
More than Just Validation
Ultimately, The Mom Test is about more than just checking a box. It’s about learning how to have better conversations and build genuine relationships with your potential users. By moving away from validation and toward problem discovery, you gain the insights necessary to build something that actually matters.